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“I can’t believe you got me into this, Tabs!” said Bear. “I should have known you weren’t serious about–”
“Meow,” interrupted Tabs. Oh, I was serious.
Bear waited, eager to hear Tabs’s explanation.
“Mrow,” continued Tabs, taking a sip of his watermelon and mint mojito. I’m always serious about relaxation.
In Tabs’s estimation, the Fairmont Orchid on the Kohala Coast of Hawai‘i Island made the best watermelon and mint mojitos, and he was thoroughly enjoying this one now.
Before the trip, Tabs told all of his friends he was going on the ultimate outdoor experience with Bear Grylls. Unfortunately for Bear, Tabs left out a few details, like that by “outdoor” he meant “poolside,” and by “experience” he meant “vacation.”
“Good grief.” Bear rolled his eyes. “You said, ‘We’re gonna rough it. It’s gonna be so great.’”
“Meowww….” Tabs drew out the word. Well….
“Yes!” said Bear, “You tricked me.”
Tabs couldn’t completely disagree with him. Perhaps he didn’t outright lie to Bear, but he did leave out the location when describing the idea. Technically, the resort is mostly outside, so that wasn’t innaccurate, and the spa there could be considered an experience.
Tabs concluded that Bear deserved at least equal responsibility for jumping to the wrong conclusion.
“What?” said Bear. “How is this an outdoor experience? It’s a resort, Tabs! You said you wanted to be on my show, prove your mettle in the wild, show your resourcefulness to your fans.”
Tabs gave Bear a look as if to say, They are comping our stay. Isn’t that resourceful?
Bear huffed and rolled his eyes again, his hands on his hips. “That’s a stretch.”
“Meow?” said Tabs. I mean, we came all the way out here. He leaned back languorously on the warm tiles, exposing his fluffy belly meat to the tropical sun. “Mrow.” Relax. Enjoy yourself.
Tabs certainly was.
— THE END —
Rosie taking the day off
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,