Well I’ll be… It was Linus. Tabs lifted the sterling silver lid from the serving tray. Yup, there it was, the missing caviar. About fifty thousand dollars worth.
Down below on the lawn, Detective Kinard was talking to Linus, who had his back to the large tree and to Tabs. Tabs started waving his arms above his head to get the detective’s attention. The detective glanced up at him, and Tabs emphatically pointed down at Linus, then held up the shiny silver lid from the serving tray to show the detective. It was him!
Below, the detective was making small talk with Linus to keep him preoccupied. They were discussing their favorite seasons of Project Runway.
“So,” Linus said, “on balance, I would have to say that season one, since it’s the season that started it all, would have to be my overall favorite.”
The detective nodded. “Makes sense.” He removed a pair of small handcuffs from his belt behind his back. “Linus,” the detective started, “you’re under arrest for grand larceny…”
“Mrow!” Linus giggled. Ha! He appeared to believe the detective was joking.
“Put your paws behind your back,” the detective continued.
Looking confused, Linus obliged. “Meow?” I’m…sorry? What’s this about?
Tabs backed his way down the tree awkwardly.
“You’re under arrest for stealing the caviar,” the detective said as knelt and put Linus’s tiny paws into the handcuffs.
“Meow?” asked Linus. What?
Tabs walked up beside Linus and the detective. “Mrow?” Tabs asked, hurt in his voice. Why, Linus? How could you?
“Meow?” Linus answered. How could I what? Mr. Tabs, what’s this about?
“Mow-row?” Tabs said. Just tell me why you did it?
Just then, a blue Toyota Camry rolled up onto the circle and pulled over by the lawn. Little Archibald slung his overly large Luis Vuitton backpack across his shoulder and held out the diamond-encrusted iPhone Tabs loaned him to call his mommy cat. “Mwow,” he squeaked. Um, thank you, sir, for letting me borrow your phone.
“Meow,” Tabs replied, taking the phone from Archibald’s tiny paw. You’re welcome, Archibald. I’m so sorry you had to witness this. Tabs put the bejeweled phone into the sleek, black quilted leather Channel fanny pack he was wearing and returned his attention to Linus.
Detective Kinard was escorting Linus away toward two nearby uniformed police officers. “Book him on a 487, grand theft,” the detective said. Linus was staring down at the ground in front of him as the officers guided him to a nearby police car.
“Mwow!” Archibald called back to Tabs as he opened the back passenger door of the blue Toyota. It was still a great party! He hopped in the backseat and closed the door. The Toyota slowly pulled away from the curb. Tabs saw a man behind the wheel.
“Meow-wow?” Tabs heard Linus say as the officers pushed him into the back of a patrol car. What is going on here? I didn’t do anything!
The blue Toyota with Archibald in it rounded the circle. Tabs noticed the man driving was wearing a very smart black shirt with purple stripes down the shoulders. It was quite fashionable. Tabs knew he had seen the design before but couldn’t place it.
The Toyota took the last turn before leaving the circle, and Tabs got a good look at the driver and his shirt. Being a world-renowned kitty supermodel and award-winning feline fashion designer, Tabs couldn’t resist anything related to good fashion. He just wished he could remember where he’d seen this design before.
As the car pulled away, Tabs noticed a sticker on the bumper. Fedex.
Fedex, Tabs pondered. Holy! The driver was wearing a Fedex shirt!
Tabs finally knew what it meant. He heard Linus crying in the backseat of the patrol car. I didn’t do anything! Why is this happening?
Just then, Tabs lept into action, sprinting at full speed to intercept the Toyota before it left the circle. “Meowwww!” he roared. It wasn’t Linus! It was Archibald!
Detective Kinard watched as Tabs jumped straight through the driver’s side open window of the Toyota, smashing into the driver. The car swerved sharply, coming to an abrupt stop as it struck the curb.
Inside the car, Tabs quickly subdued the driver with tabby jiujitsu until the detective and one of the uniformed police officers arrived. They pulled the driver and Archibald from the vehicle and promptly handcuffed both of them.
“Damnit!” the driver yelled. “I knew we’d never get away with it!”
“Meow!” barked Archibald. Shut up, you idiot! Don’t tell them anything!
Back over at the other police car, Tabs opened the back door and helped Linus out. “Meow…” he said. I’m sorry, Linus… “Mrow-ow.” This was a terrible mistake. You have my sincerest apologies. Tabs unlocked the handcuffs Linus was wearing with a set of keys he was holding.
“Mrow,” Linus replied, sounding relieved. It’s okay, sir. I’m just glad everything worked out.
“Meow-row-wow,” Tabs said, patting Linus on the head. You’re a real class act, buddy. With that silky fur and that positive cattitude, I have no doubt you’ll be an incredible kitty supermodel.
“Meow!” Linus said. Thank you! That means a lot coming from you, sir.
Rosie and graduation
This was graduation week around the country, and Rosie was very excited about it because it reminded her of her graduation from MIT. She loved school, and that was a great time.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,